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Monday, 09 November 2009

An Emergency? What? Where?

"You dial '9-1'..... and when I say '1', dial '1' again."

        I was thinking about emergencies and really being part of one or being involved somehow. Perhaps like a fire, or a car accident. Something like that. No, I haven't been watching Trauma or re-runs of ER, but one thing that did happen to me keeps popping up in my head.

       I was driving to work in the afternoon and I remember having my towel because it was swim day. It must have been the Summer.

      Just a short four or five blocks from work I see an elderly lady sitting in the middle of the street and she is trying to get up. I quickly pull over and approach her as three or four more people drive up to the scene.

      Some people ask what happened and where she lives as she is clearly shaken. Yet, there is no evidence of an accident or anything. There's no car speeding the other direction, no bike on the side of the road. It is a peculiar scene to say the least.

      She has cuts on her hands, knuckles and elbows. Also, one that is flowing blood from above her left eye. Someone hands her tissues and she is gently dabbing at her face. But the blood keeps coming. And when she is asked again where she is going, she tells us that she just needs to go home and lie down. She drops her tissues which I pick up and hand back to her. I don't remember if my heart was racing. This woman just acted confused, however, not in any pain.

      Someone brings a towel for her cut above her eye. (Why didn't I think of that?)

     What looks to be a daughter and her mother agree to give her ride and she gets into their car. The three or four of us still standing there as they pull away kind of look at each other and wonder.

     Who knows what we're each thinking? It was quite alarming. And it was only for an instance. It happened really quickly. I remember looking up at someone, catching their eyes and then simultaneously we turned and got back into our cars.

And I drove to work.

     I don't have any idea what happened to her. My assumed understanding was that the girl and her Mom were going to take the lady to the hospital. Even though, that's not where she said she was going. Or wanted to go.

    So I'll run a situation like that in my head and wonder what I would do when the time comes. And, not so much did I do nothing, but the feeling of powerlessness was all-encompassing. It didn't feel like a burden per se, but just either not being able to act, or not being quick enough.

And wondering when something like that, some emergency happens again: Will I stand by and watch or act pro-actively and try to help?

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

These Movies Are Bad.

Really they are. And not so much is this a list of my own personal worst movies, but rather a collection of bad ones. Really bad. And they're in no particular order. And it's awful. There just happens to be ten of them, although, I'm certain I could have a list of thirteen. Or even fourteen. But we'll just keep it simple for now. These are all movies I have seen in theaters (poor decision). And you might disagree with me with this list, but I think these are avoidable titles.

I've almost always enjoyed 'Top Ten Lists' and 'Best/Worst Lists'. They are too fun. And I happen to love watching movies and television. So it was meant to be. I simply have never gotten around to making my own personal list. And this list may even be just a shot in the dark, considering it is neither a "Worst of" nor "Best of" list. However, perhaps that just is a testament to how indecisive I tend to be.

Or is it?

Well, without further ado:

1) Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002)

This one was that super duel between Lucy Liu and Antonio Banderas. And why? Is this movie answering a question no one is asking? It was horrendous. And I did see it in theaters. Thankfully not alone. But that means there were two of us losers who for some odd reason sat through this sourly-acted punch to the gut of a movie. Why Antonio? Why? Weren't you Puss in Boots? Weren't you!?

2) Jason X (2002)

Man. Sometimes asking 'Why' is not enough. This was a 'Jason/Friday the 13th' horror movie in space! What could go wrong? Right? No? Not following? Well it was truly regrettable. So you got me on this one. I distinctly remember the scene where the anti-hero, Jason takes two topless girls inside sleeping bags, at the same time mind you, swinging them about like rag dolls, eventually bludgeoning them to death. I think this was right after watching a marathon of 'Jason' horror movies and this latest installment was not up to par. Sad, yes. Sad that I watched it. It made my ears sad to hear it. And my eyes sad. But not with tears.

3) Windtalkers (2002)

This one had the Pacific war-loving Nicholas Cage in it. And his overacting couldn't pull this one from the depths of film filth. Cage has perfect aim with his pea-shooter pistol throughout, and at all the opportune times, while everyone else with an automatic gun couldn't blow away his funny face. Disheartening! I did look this one up and did it really make $40 million stateside? That is criminal. There are only two movies I've been audibly shushed at and this is one of them. It was absolutely a train wreck. And apparently Christian Slater was in this movie. Completely forgot about that.

4) Hulk (2003)

This isn't the place for talking about the most recent 'Hulk' movie (2008). So we won't. Ultimately, what it comes down to is that this is the second of the two movies I have ever been audibly shushed at. And there were 'Hulk' dogs in this one.

5) Teaching Mrs. Tingle (1999)

"What a revolting development this has become." For serious. How old are these kids? And why are they at their teacher's home? Has there ever been a reason to go to your high school teacher's house? If you're not selling something, you don't need to go there. And I think the teacher dies in this one. Maybe. Cannot remember. There is truly nothing redeemable about this movie. Harsh.

6) The Clone Wars (2008)

Hey, here is a more recent one. On, the plus side, this was the first movie I ever watched in Bucharest, Romania. And this is difficult to put on this list because I absolutely love Star Wars. And this just doesn't fit anywhere in my knowledge or lineage of said series. I am thinking of getting a Star Wars tattoo even, but it won't say 'The Clone Wars'. I promise. At one point there was this effeminate Hutt (like Jabba the Hutt) character who I'm pretty sure made my ears literally bleed listening to him. It was like that much of the viewing. Bleeding ears.

And not due to sickness.

7) Next (2007)

Really Nicholas Cage? Did you make this random, cutting list twice? Shame on you. And shame on you for having such a catchy name. Especially with bad movies like this. What was the premise again? Cage can see into the future? Or shift time? He can go back into the past? Really fast? Or he just decides to do all of those things anyways? And run from the law while doing so? And he's the good guy? Heartless Nicholas. Heartless and irresponsible.

It just didn't make sense.

And I think it gave me a headache.

When I was a perfectly healthy human being before sitting down to this gobble-di-gok.

8) The Thirteenth Warrior (1999)

Oh Antonio Banderas, not you too. You made the list twice. You sucker. Weren't you in Desperado? And The Mask of Zorro? I don't even know who you are anymore? Antonio, you are too many characters now. And there are too many things wrong with this movie. Just let the flesh-eating (possibly possessed) cannibals win. That's what any rational person would do.

9) Alien vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)

On the plus side I saw this with my sister, Alice on Christmas Day. It was the best laid plan I had conceived in a long time. It was perfect. And who knew I would end up being so wrong? It might be important to note that we barely found two seats together for this show. It was definitely a matinee and it was sold out. Completely. Thus, having the movie setting on Earth once again seemed like a goldmine for the Aliens or Predator to have a field day with. Especially in a city. Or something like that. The super Alien/Predator hybrid thing was unimpressive and slow. All characteristics of a Wampa on Hoth; not an Alien or a Predator. Interesting. And this movie was short. It's Christmas! What else am I going to do on this day!? Goodness.

10) Yes Man (2008)

(Note: I saw this movie in Romania too!) Oh gosh Jim Carrey! Get hypnotized and say 'Yes' to everything. And then play every comedic character you've ever overplayed except really fast. And pretend you didn't even try or notice. You hurt us with this one. This was not a funny movie. And we've seen this before out of you. It is not new.

And Zooey Deschanel was in this.

You hurt Zooey Deschanel with this one.

11) The Break-Up (2006)

Vince Vaughn is not a nice guy. At least not in his movies. And it is a burden to sit through this one. Jennifer Aniston is in this one and she can't save this sinking ship either. Seemingly they (Vaughn and Aniston) joined forces to collaborate on a nasty relationship that can only get nastier. It would be good if they could tear each other down throughout the whole entire movie and never stop. That would make everyone feel great. Think this was originally tabbed as a comedy. It was depressing and rude. And if that's real life for anyone it is awful. Just not something anyone looks forward to. Hopeless.

So that might beg the question: Why did I see this movie?

Well originally my sister-in-law was cast as an extra. And that is truly the only reason I saw this movie. Of course, her big scene was at the end of the movie. Yet, it turns out, they scrapped that scene and edited in a different ending.

Sweet.

Hey, there are 11 on this list. Hope you don't feel cheated. I love these lists. It was fun making this. Even if these are all movies I utterly disrespect and scoff at openly.

After that though, it feels like I need to watch something happy and/or funny. Suddenly my mood has sank.

Until next time,

Saturday, 10 October 2009

Baseball Installment #2

Sunday June 7th, 2009

Arizona Diamondbacks vs. San Diego Padres

Starting pitchers: Dan Haren vs. Josh Geer

If it's Sunday now, obviously Vanessa and I have been to that wedding in between on Saturday. Which was nice. Two games in three days? Wow. And these are just the first I'm seeing of the season.

This entry might end up being curiously long and for good reason.

This game is in San Diego. Downtown San Diego (I think it means Saint Diego....? No one really knows what it means). We are at Petco Park and it is a great day for a game. Thankfully a day game also. So we should get out of town at a manageable/reasonable hour, back to Orange County.

I kind of go all out and get some nice tickets for this game and we sit first base side thirty rows or so back. It is important to note that Petco Park is extremely nice. Very modern looking and fan friendly. We walked around the whole stadium just about without going up to the higher levels. Everything was nicer and cleaner than poopy Dodger Stadium. Which might be a given considering the age differences of the stadiums. Petco is not even ten years old I don't think. Thus, the stadium just feels friendlier and not as stressful.

There actually was a giveaway on this day, an Adrian Gonzalez photo frame, but it was only for children 14 and under. Not so much falling into that age category anymore. But I did see one and they looked pretty cool. Big and bulky like a bobblehead.

It just so happens that the San Diego Padres might not be a very good team. Yet, they do still have some fans come out to the game. And there was an entire section taken up by a military unit which the PA announcer explained they always do for every game. Just paying the way for a military unit to attend a game. Does that mean I should join the army or the reserves?

On an interesting note it took all of four batters for a foul ball to be hit into the stands on a line drive per se and strike someone who couldn't get out of the way. Turns out it was a small child who was quickly carried away by his father into a catwalk, never to be seen again. So that was bad. I've had this conversation a couple times with friends and asked,

"How old do your kids have to be to take them to a game?"

Well the Diamondbacks get out to an early lead putting up four runs in one inning and two more shortly thereafter. So the home team San Diego Padres are down much of the game. Sound familiar? Finally though, Kevin Kouzmanoff strikes a ball into the left field seats and the Padres are on the board. The score is 6-1 (Arizona is ahead).

So here's where the drama comes in. Fast forward to the bottom of the ninth inning. This is the Padres last chance to do anything in the game. Diamondbacks pitcher Dan Haren has had his way with them. The bullpen is going to close this game out.

The first Padres batter quickly doubles to center field. Next batter singles and they score a run. 6-2. The following batter walks and he is now on first base. There are two men on. No outs. Kouzmanoff comes up and smacks a ball deep to center, but it is tracked down. One out. Next is another sharp infield single and a run scores. 6-3. The Diamondbacks only need to get two more outs. So sure enough the next batter hits it to the second baseman and they are only able to get one out. Two outs now. David Eckstein comes to the plate, pinch-hitting with two men on in a 6-3 game. Eckstein swings at the first pitch he sees and wallops it into the left field seats. Seriously!? Oh my gosh. There are fireworks for this home run. And suddenly the game is tied 6-6.

This blog entry is perhaps curiously long because the game went curiously long. So we're going to extra innings. And normally a baseball game has a 7th inning stretch. Okay. That's fine. This one ended up with a 14th inning stretch. Whoa. And thoughts of simply having a normal baseball game have been long thrown out the window.

Well it turns out that the Padres reform back to their old ways, not getting a hit rest of the game. And finally, maybe mercifully, Arizona's Mark Reynolds hits a 3-run home run. When does he finally do this? He hits it in the 18th inning! Man, that's a long game. Who does he hit this home run off of? The Padres shortstop has taken the mound this inning and he is the pitcher of record. So it took the Arizona Diamondbacks (possibly) best hitter 18 innings to hit a three-run home run off of the Padres utility shortstop.

Geez.

Turns out this game was the longest of the 2009 season innings-wise, however not in total time. At five hours, forty-five minutes, this game is dwarfed by another game by about three minutes. But it's still history and it's fun to say we were there.

There to see it all.

That was the second game I'd been to.

Tuesday, 06 October 2009

The Food was.........

It's in the Food

Pretty sure I have never done a food inventory. Yes, like a real, detailed "Food Inventory". Like not even for a week. I've never kept track of what I've eaten over the course of a full week, let alone a month or more at a time. Pretty sure I can remember what's been eaten in a given day, but I just do not keep a running log of it.

This sort of food journal is something that perhaps quite a few people do, yet they don't exactly make public. Perhaps some items included in such a thing can be embarrassing. Or can be eye-opening. Especially for them personally.

I only bring this up because I recently went to a popular fast-food chain.... let's call it.... oh I don't know..... "Smurger Queen". Just throw something random out there.

And I might enjoy their 'Double Stacker burger'. Maybe. And I might find coupons for "Buy One Get One" and it's all so difficult to pass up. (Decisions are hard!) Mind you, on this occasion, I definitely only got one.

I bring this up because I think this is the culprit for some awful, awful diarrhea incurred to me that night and the following morning. Holy Geez! That sort of thing is no fun. I mean, I was almost late for work! For serious! And no one wants that.

Furthermore, on this one occasion, I vividly remember not bringing anything to the bathroom to read. This is like agenda suicide. What was I thinking!? Always, always bring something to read with you in the bathroom. Alas, this is not something I could've predicted, despite the shooting pain in my side and back. And the frequency of visits.

Just really an awful throbbing. A deep, deep throbbing.

And I could only sit there strangely smirking, wondering what the heinous culprit could have been. What could have been responsible.

So no, there is no "Food Inventory". No, there was no "lab-testing" immediately following this ordeal. There are no graphic photos.

Only the memory. The painful, painful memory.

That and the smell.

Saturday, 03 October 2009

Currently
Who You Are
By Cary Brothers
see related
Baseball Installment #1

Friday - June 5th, 2009

Philadelphia Phillies vs. Los Angeles Dodgers

Starting Pitchers: 40-year old Jamie Moyer vs. journeyman Eric Milton

Vanessa and I are in Los Angeles for a wedding. We flew in early this Friday morning. And we rented a car and explored some of L.A. until game time. Walked up to the gate and found some economically friendly seats, which proved to be difficult considering Dodger Stadium's "prestige". Because it is so old.

And in this case, 'old' for a stadium definitely means old.

We arrive just in time for Phillies warm-ups, and walk around the stadium to take in the experience. As we waited to get into Dodger Stadium, someone in a minivan pulled over to the shoulder and presented some t-shirts he was selling. They read: "Free Manny". This is, of course referring to recently suspended Dodger outfielder Manny Ramirez. So it's important to note that I didn't get to see Manny play. And furthermore, important to note that I did not cough up $20 for a 'Free Manny' shirt. Sorry.

We possibly sat in the best section possible in regards to fans. (Potentially when you're at a game, you always personally believe your section is the best.) We had Dodgers and Phillies fans all around us. And it might have been hysterical. They proceeded to cuss at each other quite a bit. Even more so when the Phillies were in the lead. There was a lot of mouthing. I think the quote of the night went to a Dodgers fan immediately next to me when he was referring to some Philadelphia fans obscuring our view of the game:

"And they wonder why people get stabbed at Dodger Stadium."

Right about now I'm excited.

And a Phillies fan next to me is offering me his friend's peanuts, his friend who is a Dodgers fan. We are rooting for the home team, but they are down most of the game. There are an innumerable amount of beach balls flying. Seriously. And perhaps more so because of the home team being down. Imagine a lot of distracting beach balls at a sporting event and multiply it by 5. There were a lot. It felt like at all times. Manny's replacement, Juan Pierre has reached base three out of four at-bats and stolen second base twice. Yet, the Dodgers could only get him home once. Jamie Moyer has pitched well. He leaves with the lead 3-2.

So this can only set the table for Philadelphia Phillies closer Brad Lidge. He has blown it quite a few times already in this young season. So this one run lead is precarious at best. So in dramatic Brad Lidge fashion, he strikes out the first batter, Rafael Furcal. Then makes quick work of the O-Dawg, Orlando Hudson, inducing a groundout. Two quick outs. It must be time to pack up. And some people do so.

There is a young Phillies fan going crazy out of excitement behind us. He is shouting all sorts of strange things about how his Phillies are great. It's pretty obnoxious.

One out left.

Next batter, Casey Blake singles. Then James Loney walks. And sure enough Russell Martin hits a ball seemingly right to Pedro Feliz at third base who can't handle it and throws late to second base for the out. Everyone is safe. Error on the play. So now the bases are loaded. And the beach balls have strangely halted their bouncing. Andre Ethier comes up. He immediately jumps on a ball, hitting it down the line, in the air away from the right fielder.

And it was one of those moments where the ball seemed to hang in the air.

And it hit the ground and suddenly the stadium erupted and two runners score. The Dodgers win in dramatic fashion. The defending champion Phillies lose in the bottom of the ninth. There are fireworks. And the young boy behind us is crying audibly in his mother's arms and runs away. Dodgers fans eveyrwhere are accusingly pointing at Philadelphia fans.

It is glorious.

And Andre Ethier is interviewed on the field as we are walking out of the stadium. He is 'pied' by his teammates. And then there are fireworks that night. Turns out it was 80's night. They were playing Journey for a reason. Fireworks scheduled after the game. And fans are welcome to come out onto the field.

And it was glorious.

It was the first game I attended of the season.